


How Spider-Man met the avengers

by Alexei2020



Series: Oneshot collection [3]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Aliens, Awesome Clint Barton, Awesome Natasha Romanov, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Mario Kart, Not Beta Read, Peter Parker Can Wield Mjolnir, Peter Parker Has Issues, Peter is a Little Shit, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Does What He Wants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:34:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24298942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexei2020/pseuds/Alexei2020
Summary: If he's waving to Wolwerine as he passes by to snatch a seemingly suicidal photographer and mocking the human torch just for the heck of it as they cross paths between the buildings - then who can blame him? It's like the biggest superhero convention party since the last time. Approximately one and a half week ago. Whatever. It's still awesome.
Series: Oneshot collection [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877071
Comments: 1
Kudos: 137





	How Spider-Man met the avengers

I - Iron man

Peter is swinging through Manhatten. Yes. It's not really his territory. But aliens seems to have a weird rule to attack every other Tuesday, so what can you do?

It's not like he can do all that much really. His webs does exactly 0.1% damage to any ship or weapon they drag through the hole in the sky, and both avengers, defenders, x-men and other stray mutated beings is currently punching, kicking and fighting their way through deformed spacedogs and mechanical worms. 

He can keep civilians out of the way though. Trust humanity to run towards danger for an extra buck worth of pictures. So it's not like he's completely invalid in the scenario. 

If he's waving to Wolwerine as he passes by to snatch a seemingly suicidal photographer and mocking the human torch just for the heck of it as they cross paths between the buildings - then who can blame him? It's like the biggest superhero convention party since the last time. Approximately one and a half week ago. It's still awesome. 

Peter is not star struck. He is not gaping like a fish under his mask when Iron Man is standing in front of him. And he definitely does not stutter. Nope. And he's not cursed with parker luck or heavy awkwardness at all. So he does not accidentally blurt out what a big fan he is at the same time as he connects a string of webbing to a drooling alien and said alien does not crash into the shining red and golden armor as Peter yanks the alien towards himself with a little more force than intended.

Nope.

Easy to say. Iron Man is less than impressed. But in a we-are-currently-fighting-a-horde-of-nasty-aliens-and-I-don't-have-time-for-your-bullshit kind of way. 

So Peter does what he does best the second this Tuesday invasion is over. He crawls into bed and laughs and cries hysterically. Cursing himself for definitely ending up on his biggest hero's disappointment list and blessing himself for the secret identity. If just so the billionaire doesn't show up at his apartment to murder him for knocking him over with a stray alien dog.

II - Bruce Banner

Peter doesn't really mind the hulk. He's a cool guy. When he's not throwing him around like a rag doll, that is. But more often than not, they actually have a good time together. 

No one is complaining when they help out at the scrap yard playing a game of 'who can smash the most cars' just so the big green guy can take his rage out on something that is not living beings or buildings.

The thing is. Peter was not prepared for the hulk to accidentally crush him with one of the cars. And he was definitely not prepared to wake up at the avengers tower staring straight at Bruce Banner's back. 

He might have a concussion. He might be hallucinating. He might be really, really high from whatever drug pumping through him at the moment. But _holy shit! That's Bruce Banner!_

Peter tries not to think too much about it. Thinking is actually not an issue at the moment, and his brain to mouth filter somehow high tailed out of existence without him, because the first thing he says to the biggest scientific idol in history is something like : You look taller in the magazines. Don't worry though. I bet the missing growth went to your brain.

To say the genius was startled... understatement of the year. He jumped from his chair and somehow tipped over it. Peter just about loses it at that point. He's drugged out of his mind in a hospital bed. In the same room as _the fucking Bruce Banner_ , and he just fell off a frickin chair. 

III - Black Widow.

Bruce somehow persuades Tony Stark to let Peter stay at the tower until he's completely healed. Peter could have said he would be healed within the next 24 hours. But when does one ever get to explore the avengers tower, really? So he doesn't do that. 

As a clever after thought, though, Peter may just wish he actually threw himself out of the window with his dignity when he had the chance. 

Standing in the kitchen, in hideous pink hello kitty pajama pants, an oversized old sweatshirt and the worst kind of bed hair, is not how he wanted to introduce himself to the Black widow.

Equally beautiful and terrifying, standing in front of him with the biggest knife ever seen, he might just pee a little. Damn Parker Luck. What else is new?

And what do you say to the prettiest, deadliest woman to walk this earth, when she catches you in the kitchen at 5 in the morning, looking like you're about to steal their milk? 

Definitely not hi. Because the way her lips quirk up at the stuttering and rising heat in Peter's cheeks, it sends the heat elsewhere too, and Peter does not need his half asleep brain to send every drop of blood downstairs right now. But hey. Awkward encounters appears to be one of his superpowers, so whatever.

IV - Captain America

Quick question. Who would have thought Captain America would have such a problem with a microwave? Not Peter. 

After the rather unfortunate meeting with the Black Widow and a really cold shower, Peter finds his way back to the kitchen, just to find the microwave on fire, and a panicked hundred year old jackass trying to put it out by throwing water at the damn thing. 

How has no one in this colossal building not thought to teach Captain America to prepare food in the 21th century? He's been around for like... seven years! And Peter kind of feels sorry for him, because he has this permanent look of a puppy golden retriever, and humanity is just a bunch of assholes. 

V - Thor

Peter makes frequent visits to the avengers after a while. If only to give them a good laugh in between aliens, zombies and supervillains with hilarious names. 

And because he's Spider-man, he thinks the best way to enter is to sneak in through the most convenient window he can find. 

And because he's also Peter Parker, he is very easily distracted, and seeing a shiny piece of weaponry just casually laying on the coffee table, and no one around to stop his curiosity and twitching fingers, he just has to detour and touch it. 

It's incredibly light, and easy to handle. For something that looks both bulky and hard to swing around, he is pleasantly surprised when it feels like lifting the empty milk carton you were sure was filled when you were picking it up. 

He may or may not yelp and jump to the ceiling when he hears the gasps coming from behind him. And he may or may not have a minor heart attach when he spots the literal god of thunder standing _just there_. 

That booming laugh definitely doesn't help, because it feels like the whole building is going to collapse with the vibrations. 

VI. Hawkeye

Peter has heard a lot about the master prankster of the avengers. And he makes it his mission to impress the guy. Apparently he has a permanent spot in the vents of the tower, and Peter, being the idiot he is, makes a trap. 

His barely visible strings of web can be used to other things than swinging around and tracking villains in the sewers. It can also be used as a trip wire connected to a glitter bomb. 

Peter kind of regrets his life choices somewhere between running for his life, laughing his ass off, and ending up with his favourite suit coloured purple. 

But they have a shared love for high places and scaring the shit out of people, and if they look like a mirror of each other when sitting the wrong way on the chairs yelling at each other for cheating at Mario cart... who cares? 

It's hawkeye. It's cool. 


End file.
